Santa claus

Santa Claus is perhaps the worlds most famous alcoholic pervet , and yet everyone accepts him for who he is.
In the dead of night while the little ones are asleep, he shimmies his was down the chimney (which is a truly trying task considering his bulk) and yet somehow he achieves this almost supernatural feat.  Suprisingly, he has in all the centuries that have passed since he began his career, never thought to open the front door. All that travel through chimneys cant be good for him and its a wonder he hasnt yet developed some lung cancer or other serious ailement.
The man who is clearly an opportunistic slave driver exploits a poor race of smaller beings. Being the villain that he is, the man overworks the poor souls, while he sleeps and recuperates for 364 days of the year. Yet somehow he alone receives the glory.
Frugal as he is, he refuses to invest in a more conventional transportation vehicle chosing instead to keep enslaved reindeer for his own pleasure. He forces the broken animals to drag not only weight but the considerable amount of presents destined to find their way to some young child who he has been moniteering for a full year. (Creepy much?) The man is truly above the law, not only is his chosen mode of transport questionable, he only has one inadequate headlight. Instead of seeking medical help for the animal that has clearly at some point been exposed to radiation, he continues to use the animals possible source of pain and embarrassment for his own gain. How callous he is.
This is by far not his only road offence, the man will partake of brandy or some such other alcoholic concoction at every house that he vists and considering that the world now has over 7billion people, the man clearly operares his transportation device while he is heavily above the limit.
With all this alcohol helping to free his inhibitions, it is unthinkable what the man is capable of doing once inside your home. Perhaps this state of drunkeness is what leads him to enter through the chimney and not the provided entrance door. Considering that his life is devoted to watching over children, the ideas that may posses him while he loiters in your foyer (in the dead of night) are disturbing to say the very least; it is only a matter of time before his depravity escalates to such an extent.
Consuming all this alcoohol must have by now caused irreparable damage to his liver and since he is not actually formally employed, the NHS must be keeping him alive. His lack of employment also means that he is also living of the back of the tax payer and so he infact does nothing for Christmas, the money for the presents is not even his.
His life is to monitor children and nothing else, and since he is watching at every moment "he sees you when you're sleeping" it is also logical to assume that he is aware of when said children are bathing or performing any other bodily functions making him a pervert and perhaps even a paedophile. The fact that he also "knows when you're awake" suggests underlying stalking tendencies.  Santa Claus is a true menace to society and he must be stopped before it is too late.