DON’T “Just be yourself”

From the moment we first enter into society, we are bombarded with carefully constructed lies designed to indulge us in our idiocy and hinder us from progressing in our daily lives. These falsehoods are often offered in dismissal so that the rest of society is not forced to deal with you wallowing in self pity and are will supposedly boost your confidence (for a while). There is nothing more dangerous than believing said lies.

Lie number one: You should just be yourself

Often when unsure of themselves, people are encouraged to be themselves, worst advice ever. Being you in a completely alien environment is beyond stupid, one must use their own personal judgment to discern the manner in which they should present themselves. The way one would act whilst partaking of a meal in the presence of the queen differs greatly to a more relaxed dinner amongst family. There the particularly crass might comfortably break wind or casually remark upon a much required bowel movement. Sitting across from the Queen however, the conversation would be much more conservative. If not then it is unlikely that you will be called back to Buckingham palace for a second visit. So maybe that scenario was a little extreme, if you want to see that being you is a load of bollocks then consider this: is there a difference between the way you act with friends and the way you act with family? If there isn't then you either have a really laissez-faire household, or your friends are shit.

                       

Lie number two: It’s the inside that counts

Now though this to some extent can be argued to be true, it is the most dangerous lie out there. Fed on a regular basis to ugly girls by their supportive mothers, this grotesque manipulation of the truth leads many females into believing that if they shouldn't even bother with their appearance because a guy must appreciate the inner beauty. *newsflash* If the outside doesn't look good, who’s going to stick around long enough to see what’s inside? Imagine this, two houses are up for sale, one is right next to a burst sewage pipe, there is sewage spewing forth from the ruptured pipe. The road is ridden with potholes; it’s in a rough neighborhood and in a general state of disrepair. No one sticks around to enter in, however, if one were to enter in, they would realise that in contrast to the outside, everything inside is perfectly clean and it rather impressive to say the least, Chandeliers, the lot. The other home that is for sale is located in a more respectable neighborhood; the grounds are neatly maintained overall highly aesthetically pleasing. The interior of the house is however in somewhat of a shambles. Because the outside is so well maintained and attractive, one is almost always willing to compromise and accept the house on the presumption that the interior can be restored to its former glory. The same is true for people if the outside looks like a pile of shit no one cares what’s on the inside, because they never stick around long enough to find out. Let the interior match the exterior and if it doesn't? Then compensate for that shit interior with stunning outer casing. All in all, the inside only counts if the outside is worth looking at.

Santa claus

Santa Claus is perhaps the worlds most famous alcoholic pervet , and yet everyone accepts him for who he is.
In the dead of night while the little ones are asleep, he shimmies his was down the chimney (which is a truly trying task considering his bulk) and yet somehow he achieves this almost supernatural feat.  Suprisingly, he has in all the centuries that have passed since he began his career, never thought to open the front door. All that travel through chimneys cant be good for him and its a wonder he hasnt yet developed some lung cancer or other serious ailement.
The man who is clearly an opportunistic slave driver exploits a poor race of smaller beings. Being the villain that he is, the man overworks the poor souls, while he sleeps and recuperates for 364 days of the year. Yet somehow he alone receives the glory.
Frugal as he is, he refuses to invest in a more conventional transportation vehicle chosing instead to keep enslaved reindeer for his own pleasure. He forces the broken animals to drag not only weight but the considerable amount of presents destined to find their way to some young child who he has been moniteering for a full year. (Creepy much?) The man is truly above the law, not only is his chosen mode of transport questionable, he only has one inadequate headlight. Instead of seeking medical help for the animal that has clearly at some point been exposed to radiation, he continues to use the animals possible source of pain and embarrassment for his own gain. How callous he is.
This is by far not his only road offence, the man will partake of brandy or some such other alcoholic concoction at every house that he vists and considering that the world now has over 7billion people, the man clearly operares his transportation device while he is heavily above the limit.
With all this alcohol helping to free his inhibitions, it is unthinkable what the man is capable of doing once inside your home. Perhaps this state of drunkeness is what leads him to enter through the chimney and not the provided entrance door. Considering that his life is devoted to watching over children, the ideas that may posses him while he loiters in your foyer (in the dead of night) are disturbing to say the very least; it is only a matter of time before his depravity escalates to such an extent.
Consuming all this alcoohol must have by now caused irreparable damage to his liver and since he is not actually formally employed, the NHS must be keeping him alive. His lack of employment also means that he is also living of the back of the tax payer and so he infact does nothing for Christmas, the money for the presents is not even his.
His life is to monitor children and nothing else, and since he is watching at every moment "he sees you when you're sleeping" it is also logical to assume that he is aware of when said children are bathing or performing any other bodily functions making him a pervert and perhaps even a paedophile. The fact that he also "knows when you're awake" suggests underlying stalking tendencies.  Santa Claus is a true menace to society and he must be stopped before it is too late.

Christmas

For 364 days of the year (no not 365, since that is the day they wait for), children and adults alike await the arrival of Christmas and Santa Claus. The deafening sounds of festive caroling, the laborious toiling involved with Christmas dinner and above all the hustle and bustle of christmas shopping. But what truly is the point of Christmas?
Christians would argue that it it is a time set aside to celebrate jesus birth, so why then is it the most expensive time of year? Born in a stable as he was, materialism could surely not have been his life long desire and yet we honour his birth not by considering others but indulging in gluttonous expenditure designed to leave you a dress size bigger than what you previously were.
If one were to be brutally honest with themselves, they would eventually reach the same conclusion that I have. Christmas is a superficial pointless celebration that has been fuelled by retailers in order to generate profit. For many It is a time where nothing matters more than having that new game or that new console. It is nothing more than an excuse to lavish money better spent elsewhere on frivolities that will be forgotten before the new year countdown begins and it is above all an excuse for many to be openly be selfish. It is not the thought that counts but rather the size and worth of said present that truly makes a difference; anyone who claims otherwise is deceiving others and perhaps they themselves believe the falsification. Christmas has lost all meaning and it is a time of nothing but the accumulation of materialistic goods. Try to just have one christmas with no presents and see for yourself the reaction you receive, after all, if it's the birth of jesus we celebrate, why then are we the ones to receive meaningless presents handpicked from the new argos catalogue. Forgive for saying so, but Christmas means nothing.
This realisation is the penultimate step between childishness and maturity and accepting this truth is what marks the end of youthful ignorance. It is a truth that all adults know but ignore for the sake of tradition.

Fat people truly are "Evil"

Being overweight was once upon a time in the days of old, interpreted as a sign of lavish wealth and prosperity. However: with the birth of “junk food”, double chins and abnormally large abdomens, it has became a regular social norm no longer reserved for the elite. This influx of fatties has created a society of “fat slammers”. The larger ones among us have responded in kind by becoming horrid gluttonous masses that despise all things healthy, or introverted pitiful individuals. Now understand that this does not relate to the plump or overweight members of our society, but rather is referencing the grotesquely obese who are in that position due to an abundant lack of self control. A recent controversial article has been hurtling across the World Wide Web, sparking debates between the young and old, men and women alike. The opinionated post – “5 reasons fat people are evil”, -was an attack on all things “fat”.

The author (2Wycked) had five inarguably good reasons for why it was that the generously proportioned among us, were soulless heathens, on a straight course to the eternal damnation of hell. Firstly, this particular group of people are the definition of selfish, the main goal in their lives always to gratify their ever tingling taste buds and satisfy their ever present sexual frustrations with inordinate amounts of calorie rich foods. In the mirror, faced with the morbid evidence of greed and insatiability, some choose to cower behind baggy unattractive pieces of clothing that do everything to hide their unsightly bodies, while others remain disillusioned and continue to wear skimpy strips of nothing that offer no protection from the repugnant sight of their scantly clad bodies.  When confronted by more svelte human specimens these fat people argue that big is beautiful, but not when it has progressed to the point of overhanging stomachs that act as a blanket for the genitals. “Good things come in small packages”.  Notably it has been found that those of a larger than average physique, almost always emit a putrid stench of sweat, passed gas and general smells only caused by a general unhygienic lifestyle.

Because of all these characteristics, fat people often find themselves as outcasts and must make a conscious effort to be accepted by their peers. They do this in one of two ways: become the clown, or use their size to dominate others. It is the latter instance which allows them to truly be dubbed as “evil”. In order to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy, they target and inferiorise those who pose as a threat to them or remind them of their foul lifestyle. Instead of changing their lifestyle to something more maintainably healthy (that is not a shortcut to a heart attack), fatties will attempt to ridicule those around them in order to boost their fragile esteem. Evil – something that is harmful – their mission to inflict themselves upon others is surely the definition of evil? There is noting worse than a person whose sole mission is to demoralize others, and that is something that 2Wycked tried to communicate in his article. Unfortunately for him, his wording of the article seemed, for all intents and purpose, to be an uninspired attack on our society’s heavier occupants.

Original article by 2Wycked http://www.returnofkings.com/18173/5-reasons-fat-people-are-evil