DON’T “Just be yourself”

From the moment we first enter into society, we are bombarded with carefully constructed lies designed to indulge us in our idiocy and hinder us from progressing in our daily lives. These falsehoods are often offered in dismissal so that the rest of society is not forced to deal with you wallowing in self pity and are will supposedly boost your confidence (for a while). There is nothing more dangerous than believing said lies.

Lie number one: You should just be yourself

Often when unsure of themselves, people are encouraged to be themselves, worst advice ever. Being you in a completely alien environment is beyond stupid, one must use their own personal judgment to discern the manner in which they should present themselves. The way one would act whilst partaking of a meal in the presence of the queen differs greatly to a more relaxed dinner amongst family. There the particularly crass might comfortably break wind or casually remark upon a much required bowel movement. Sitting across from the Queen however, the conversation would be much more conservative. If not then it is unlikely that you will be called back to Buckingham palace for a second visit. So maybe that scenario was a little extreme, if you want to see that being you is a load of bollocks then consider this: is there a difference between the way you act with friends and the way you act with family? If there isn't then you either have a really laissez-faire household, or your friends are shit.

                       

Lie number two: It’s the inside that counts

Now though this to some extent can be argued to be true, it is the most dangerous lie out there. Fed on a regular basis to ugly girls by their supportive mothers, this grotesque manipulation of the truth leads many females into believing that if they shouldn't even bother with their appearance because a guy must appreciate the inner beauty. *newsflash* If the outside doesn't look good, who’s going to stick around long enough to see what’s inside? Imagine this, two houses are up for sale, one is right next to a burst sewage pipe, there is sewage spewing forth from the ruptured pipe. The road is ridden with potholes; it’s in a rough neighborhood and in a general state of disrepair. No one sticks around to enter in, however, if one were to enter in, they would realise that in contrast to the outside, everything inside is perfectly clean and it rather impressive to say the least, Chandeliers, the lot. The other home that is for sale is located in a more respectable neighborhood; the grounds are neatly maintained overall highly aesthetically pleasing. The interior of the house is however in somewhat of a shambles. Because the outside is so well maintained and attractive, one is almost always willing to compromise and accept the house on the presumption that the interior can be restored to its former glory. The same is true for people if the outside looks like a pile of shit no one cares what’s on the inside, because they never stick around long enough to find out. Let the interior match the exterior and if it doesn't? Then compensate for that shit interior with stunning outer casing. All in all, the inside only counts if the outside is worth looking at.

Santa claus

Santa Claus is perhaps the worlds most famous alcoholic pervet , and yet everyone accepts him for who he is.
In the dead of night while the little ones are asleep, he shimmies his was down the chimney (which is a truly trying task considering his bulk) and yet somehow he achieves this almost supernatural feat.  Suprisingly, he has in all the centuries that have passed since he began his career, never thought to open the front door. All that travel through chimneys cant be good for him and its a wonder he hasnt yet developed some lung cancer or other serious ailement.
The man who is clearly an opportunistic slave driver exploits a poor race of smaller beings. Being the villain that he is, the man overworks the poor souls, while he sleeps and recuperates for 364 days of the year. Yet somehow he alone receives the glory.
Frugal as he is, he refuses to invest in a more conventional transportation vehicle chosing instead to keep enslaved reindeer for his own pleasure. He forces the broken animals to drag not only weight but the considerable amount of presents destined to find their way to some young child who he has been moniteering for a full year. (Creepy much?) The man is truly above the law, not only is his chosen mode of transport questionable, he only has one inadequate headlight. Instead of seeking medical help for the animal that has clearly at some point been exposed to radiation, he continues to use the animals possible source of pain and embarrassment for his own gain. How callous he is.
This is by far not his only road offence, the man will partake of brandy or some such other alcoholic concoction at every house that he vists and considering that the world now has over 7billion people, the man clearly operares his transportation device while he is heavily above the limit.
With all this alcohol helping to free his inhibitions, it is unthinkable what the man is capable of doing once inside your home. Perhaps this state of drunkeness is what leads him to enter through the chimney and not the provided entrance door. Considering that his life is devoted to watching over children, the ideas that may posses him while he loiters in your foyer (in the dead of night) are disturbing to say the very least; it is only a matter of time before his depravity escalates to such an extent.
Consuming all this alcoohol must have by now caused irreparable damage to his liver and since he is not actually formally employed, the NHS must be keeping him alive. His lack of employment also means that he is also living of the back of the tax payer and so he infact does nothing for Christmas, the money for the presents is not even his.
His life is to monitor children and nothing else, and since he is watching at every moment "he sees you when you're sleeping" it is also logical to assume that he is aware of when said children are bathing or performing any other bodily functions making him a pervert and perhaps even a paedophile. The fact that he also "knows when you're awake" suggests underlying stalking tendencies.  Santa Claus is a true menace to society and he must be stopped before it is too late.

Christmas

For 364 days of the year (no not 365, since that is the day they wait for), children and adults alike await the arrival of Christmas and Santa Claus. The deafening sounds of festive caroling, the laborious toiling involved with Christmas dinner and above all the hustle and bustle of christmas shopping. But what truly is the point of Christmas?
Christians would argue that it it is a time set aside to celebrate jesus birth, so why then is it the most expensive time of year? Born in a stable as he was, materialism could surely not have been his life long desire and yet we honour his birth not by considering others but indulging in gluttonous expenditure designed to leave you a dress size bigger than what you previously were.
If one were to be brutally honest with themselves, they would eventually reach the same conclusion that I have. Christmas is a superficial pointless celebration that has been fuelled by retailers in order to generate profit. For many It is a time where nothing matters more than having that new game or that new console. It is nothing more than an excuse to lavish money better spent elsewhere on frivolities that will be forgotten before the new year countdown begins and it is above all an excuse for many to be openly be selfish. It is not the thought that counts but rather the size and worth of said present that truly makes a difference; anyone who claims otherwise is deceiving others and perhaps they themselves believe the falsification. Christmas has lost all meaning and it is a time of nothing but the accumulation of materialistic goods. Try to just have one christmas with no presents and see for yourself the reaction you receive, after all, if it's the birth of jesus we celebrate, why then are we the ones to receive meaningless presents handpicked from the new argos catalogue. Forgive for saying so, but Christmas means nothing.
This realisation is the penultimate step between childishness and maturity and accepting this truth is what marks the end of youthful ignorance. It is a truth that all adults know but ignore for the sake of tradition.

Fat people truly are "Evil"

Being overweight was once upon a time in the days of old, interpreted as a sign of lavish wealth and prosperity. However: with the birth of “junk food”, double chins and abnormally large abdomens, it has became a regular social norm no longer reserved for the elite. This influx of fatties has created a society of “fat slammers”. The larger ones among us have responded in kind by becoming horrid gluttonous masses that despise all things healthy, or introverted pitiful individuals. Now understand that this does not relate to the plump or overweight members of our society, but rather is referencing the grotesquely obese who are in that position due to an abundant lack of self control. A recent controversial article has been hurtling across the World Wide Web, sparking debates between the young and old, men and women alike. The opinionated post – “5 reasons fat people are evil”, -was an attack on all things “fat”.

The author (2Wycked) had five inarguably good reasons for why it was that the generously proportioned among us, were soulless heathens, on a straight course to the eternal damnation of hell. Firstly, this particular group of people are the definition of selfish, the main goal in their lives always to gratify their ever tingling taste buds and satisfy their ever present sexual frustrations with inordinate amounts of calorie rich foods. In the mirror, faced with the morbid evidence of greed and insatiability, some choose to cower behind baggy unattractive pieces of clothing that do everything to hide their unsightly bodies, while others remain disillusioned and continue to wear skimpy strips of nothing that offer no protection from the repugnant sight of their scantly clad bodies.  When confronted by more svelte human specimens these fat people argue that big is beautiful, but not when it has progressed to the point of overhanging stomachs that act as a blanket for the genitals. “Good things come in small packages”.  Notably it has been found that those of a larger than average physique, almost always emit a putrid stench of sweat, passed gas and general smells only caused by a general unhygienic lifestyle.

Because of all these characteristics, fat people often find themselves as outcasts and must make a conscious effort to be accepted by their peers. They do this in one of two ways: become the clown, or use their size to dominate others. It is the latter instance which allows them to truly be dubbed as “evil”. In order to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy, they target and inferiorise those who pose as a threat to them or remind them of their foul lifestyle. Instead of changing their lifestyle to something more maintainably healthy (that is not a shortcut to a heart attack), fatties will attempt to ridicule those around them in order to boost their fragile esteem. Evil – something that is harmful – their mission to inflict themselves upon others is surely the definition of evil? There is noting worse than a person whose sole mission is to demoralize others, and that is something that 2Wycked tried to communicate in his article. Unfortunately for him, his wording of the article seemed, for all intents and purpose, to be an uninspired attack on our society’s heavier occupants.

Original article by 2Wycked http://www.returnofkings.com/18173/5-reasons-fat-people-are-evil

The reality of “the imaginary friend”

The need for human companionship is inherit in all of us, though innocent at best and sinister in the worst of scenarios, the desire for friendship is never more prevalent than in young children. In order to tackle the stifling blanket of isolation shrouding their young lives, these juvenile youngsters conjure up various different imagined playmates; their parents unwilling or unable to devote the appropriate amount of time to their offspring, dismiss these malevolent developments as nothing more than childish shenanigans, and accredit the creation of these characters to overactive imaginations. But are they merely fantastical beings? Or is there more to “the imagined friend” than meets the eye?

The initial assumption, would be that an imaginary friend is conceived in order to satisfy the void of loneliness inside a child, however, a recent compilation of some of the more sinister statements youngster have uttered in regards to their imagined friends challenges this belief and poses the question that none has yet to answer; Are imaginary friends proof of an overactive mind, or are they beings (demonic or otherwise) only made manifest to childish innocence, uncorrupted by the cynicism of our society?

In one particularly disturbing instance a young girl of three tells her parents about her imaginary friend “Kelly” fast forward two years, as the family sit watching the horror movie “Amityville”, their five year old daughter stumbles onto the scene, precisely at that moment, the dead soulless demon appears on screen. The child casually remarks that the macabre phenomenon is the spitting image of her friend “Kelly”. The family shocked as they are ignore all this and simply continue with their day to day lives. Personally, upon reading this. one would strongly suggest a psychiatrist for this child. Either she is delusional, or the child suffers from (judging from this scenario) a case of pathological lying. In any case, a psychiatrist would be the best possible solution for this particular youngster.

Another child, this time a little boy of age 7 claimed his acquaintance and accomplice aptly named “the captain” would continually instruct him to commit murder, upon protesting, “the captain” would argue that after a while, the killing would become enjoyable. Regardless of whether or not “the captain” was a figment of the boy’s imagination, medical help would surely benefit this disturbed prepubescent. Perhaps some time spent in an institutional asylum off sorts would cure him of his insanity.

Though we have come to accept “the imaginary friend” as a common place feature of childhood, one would argue that if we were to pause and process what the children around us are truly saying, we would conclude that many of them deserve to permanently be institutionalised and guided through the perilous road that is childhood. If their minds conjure up scenes of murder and other such sombre scenarios of their own volition, then a visit to the psychiatrist for a thorough assessment would most certainly not be amiss.  After all, one less psychopath integrated in our society simply means a safer existence for all. Imaginary friends, whether they be individuals from the spiritual realm or otherwise, a surely an insight into the psych of our children and they should not be lightly dismissed.

Original article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jenlewis/the-creepiest-things-a-kid-has-said-about-an-imaginary-fr

Call me what you will

Paul Walker, arguably one of the best action actors of our generation and a key character in the hit movie franchise "fast and furious" is(as of saturday 30 November) dead.
The 40 year old actor was in the car when it crashed into a lamp post and caught fire. Both occupants were killed on site.  Reports claim that he was not behind the wheel at the time of the accident. An inquiry into the circumstances regarding the accident is currently underway.
What gets to me about this story is the way in which everyone has forgotten about the other driver, the one who was killed along with Paul Walker in the crash. what about him? His family, friends, hopes dreams? All anyone seems capable of discussing is the 'tragic' death of Paul walker. Why does no one care about the driver? The answer is simple; he wasn't famous enough.  That is the sad reality of life or rather our society; unless you become someone worthy of note, no one will bother to even find out your name. Despite the fame, with time people forget about you and I can gurantee that in another 5 years you'll look at you friend and say "who was that actor, the hot one from fast and furious who died?" Your friend will look at you blank faced and casually shrug in the universal signature move. "I don't know," then together the two of you will shrug off the matter and continue on your merry way. Now that being the scenario for those of our population who in life         successfully managed to be be labelled as 'a celebrity', how much more insignificant are we? The billions upon billions of people scattered across the globe.
Reading this, you probably realise that you are in fact one of the masses, pause and ask yourself this, if you died today, who would remember you? Who would care?
When one realises how fickle we are as humans, you wonder why you even bother to impress. Why would you please people who will forget you one day? People who will move on while you lay stone cold, six feet under. Then consider this, if you don't live to please people, what do you live for, what is the purpose to ones life? We are born, we are educated, worked until we are of no use to our society and then we die.  No matter how individualistic one may be, the ultimate truth is that we are all following the exact same pattern as that of those before us. Those of us who chose not to (or can not) work and do not have the means to support themselves simply become a burden onto society. From birth till death we are taught to shun this way of life, to work, work, work and earn your living and for what? So you can live comfortably as you await death?
Call me crazy but there must be more to life than that and if not found in life, then forgive me for believing that my peace and purpose will be found in the after life.
For if I truly stopped believing in anything more than the age old tedious pattern of birth to death, I surely would not be able to endure the torture and I would end it before I worked myself to the bone for no apparent reason. Call me a fool but I refuse to accept that it is birth to death and nothing more. Call me stupid for refusing to accept your truth but I refuse to accept that after I die  I shall cease to exist. Call me religious if u will , but atleast I've found a purpose for my life. A reason for living and existing. Call me a dreamer for believing life is but a dream before I wake up to the big picture. Call me what you will, but I believe.